Book Review: I'll Give You The Sun

I’ll Give You The Sun

By Jandy Nelson

So when I was out my friend, initially wanted to get myself the new Adam Lambert album and because the music store didn’t have the album in stock, I decided I would go get a book instead.

I had planned to get the Robbie Rogers autobiography but I decided that I needed something light because it had been a while since I actually bought a hard copy novel and read it. Also I am a Young Adult person, which at age 22/23 I am not ashamed to admit. 

I feel like I will move on to “adult” books when the time is right but for now I am content reading Young Adult fiction.

Anyhow, getting back to the novel that I want to speak about:

It was really a delightful read.

I had planned to take my time with this book but then I got sucked into it and within three days of starting it, I finished it. 

Here is the plot description:

“Jude and her twin Noah are close until a tragedy drives them apart. 

Now they are barely speaking – and both falling for boys they can’t have. 

Love’s complicated.” 

The novel tells the story of Jude and Noah in a split narrative.

Noah’s part of the story is told between the ages of 13-14, while Jude’s is told at age 16.

Noah and Jude are fraternal twins, who are inseparable but over the course of the novel they let jealousy and their own emotional difficulties push them further and further apart from each other.

One of the reasons I enjoyed this book so much was because it manages to make both Jude and Noah’s perspectives of the story interesting.

Personally, I am always concerned about when authors tell the same story from a different character because it can be very boring to the reader, but Jude’s was interesting and I became invested in her story.

Another thing in terms of structure that I really enjoyed was that the novels follows the three act structure building towards a climax  but the time/age gap between their two perspectives is what made it so interesting.

There were so issues with the book that others online readers pointed out:

1. Oscar being this young adult bad boy trope who then manages to get “saved/fixed of his emotional issues” because of his love for one of the characters.
2. Zephur who gets reduced to being thrown into this bad guy role and made to be viewed negatively when there wasn’t enough evidence to make it believable why he would be relegated to that role.
3. The unnecessary delay of resolution because it adds to the drama and tension. As a writer, I understand why writers have their characters avoid certain discussions because it adds tension to the story, but we live in an age where readers are getting tired of this device and see it as lazy writing.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               - I think that while a certain amount of tension can be necessary, if your characters are not having a discussion (which they need to have with each other) only because you don’t want them to, then you have a problem and need to find another narratively logical justification for characters not speaking to each other.
4. The twin’s father subplot being erratically dealt with. This is something that I felt was an issue because this subplot was dealt with okay but could have been handled better to have the ultimate resolution feel that much more earned.
5. Noah’s narrative was made to feel a little immature. I understand that there had to be a separation and distinct difference in his characterisation at different ages, but he came off feeling a little too petty at times. 

Outside of this, I really enjoyed the deconstruction of the kids’ mother because so often we idealise out parents and in this novel, Jandy Nelson manages to deconstruct the twins’ parents (more their mother) in a very interesting way.

Every person has that moment when your parent is no longer this perfect person that you idolise but rather someone who you love, that also has their flaws and makes their own mistakes.

I loved that after the resolution of the climax the novel didn’t just end, it gave you time to process that we were reaching an ending. So often I find myself frustrated with how many novels don’t succinctly enough resolve the novel. You reach the end feeling like you had to jump over a ditch instead of the ditch being filled.

I thoroughly enjoyed the novel. I know that eventually I will be reading the book again because of how everything managed to tie together.

I think part of my enjoyment came from the fact that I imagined these characters being slightly older than they are, which in some way may be a issue because it speaks to how Young Adult books a written where these young kids feel wise beyond their years, and can be unbelievable for some.

I enjoyed that they felt older than what their characters were. I only realised this after finishing the novel that when I kept imaging Noah as 16 when was 13, and then when Jude is telling her side of their narrative at age 16, I pictured them as 18 if that makes sense.

In summation though, you should make up your own mind about this lovely story.

I will give this an 8/10 because I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I do tend to skew my opinions of things in a more optimistic way because I enjoy something for what it is rather than actively find fault. 

I really hope that you at least take the time to give this book a try. If you don’t like it then at least you tried, if you do then welcome to the club.

Theo over and Out.

PS - Here is my favourite extract from the book: 

“Love does as it undoes. It goes after with equal tenacity: joy and heartbreak.”

- (I’ll Give You The Sun, pg 412)

I really loved the use of metaphor in the book, it did colour in the world more and just felt natural instead of planted in and shoved in for the sake of it.

Author : Jandy Nelson

Update and Retrospect: The Douchebag Ex?

This is part of my update and retrospect series that I am randomly starting because I have been so busy that it feels like I am losing touch with my life and my emotions. This is more for my sanity than anything else really. Also it is a way to keep the people updated about how I am without giving them a generic answer. Often we all use copy and paste explanations because we are too lazy to articulate how we really feel.

I thought that I would start off with the thing that has affected me most, then I would get onto the rest. First up is this post, then work and then friends and then music or something random. Whatever floats my boat really. We shall see.

Break-up epiphanies

So because of my tendency to get all emotional and attached, I fell for my ex-boyfriend very quickly. (Yes, we dated for a little over a month, sue me. Was I in love? No, but I was on my way).

Recently however, I had an epiphany. My tendency to only want to see the good in people, results in me often idealising them and missing their flaws. The same thing happened with my relationship.

I have spoken about my ownership of fault in the relationship before but for a long time I felt like the break-up was more my fault than his, which I realise now is not true. To claim more fault is actually unfair to me.

The break-up was both our fault.

One of the flaws in our relationship, was that I wasn’t given the time I needed to adjust to a vital fact about him. This vital fact actually had a big impact on our relationship. I would be less vague and disclose what this fact is, but it’s not for me to share. He wouldn’t have a problem with it, but I feel like it is not my place.

That aside, this fact was an important factor in our relationship and I was on a steep learning curve of how to deal with this. It was unfair to me to not give me the right amount of time I needed to process.

I do realise that I should have taken the relationship slower and been more patient with him, but that aside, I deserved to be given some time to learn about this fact.

He pulled a douchebag move.

Now, I am not saying that he is a douchebag (even though I would be expected to), but he pulled a douchebag move. There's a difference - everybody pulls a douchebag move.

That was not the only douchebag move he pulled.

He then felt the need that in our break-up to say that I was emotionally manipulating him. This was one of the things that hurt the absolute most because it was a major insult to my character.

It was insulting because obviously he didn’t know me well enough.

I have seen how emotional manipulations looks, asking someone to not throw in the towel yet was not it.

For him to think I was emotionally manipulating him, when in actuality I was fighting for our relationship, was like he spat in my face. I have too much on my plate and things happening in my life to waste time manipulating people.

Another issue was that he really sucked at communication, and he used the “I am a scientist” excuse. I get that he was genius science boffin but that does not excuse him from being a human.

All I asked for was honesty about how he was feeling – even if it was not something I wanted to hear, then I still wanted him to tell me.

But he didn’t...

Except when he was breaking up with me – that was when I got quite a bit of honesty.

That aside, me calling him out on his douchebag moves does not mean that he is one.

From his perspective, he was trying to deal.

Sure he could’ve handled the situation better, but he was doing what he thought was best for him.

The factor in our relationship (that I mentioned above), was something that he was dealing with daily, and I guess that he didn’t want to feel like he was forcing me to deal with the issue. My problem was that I wanted to be there to help, but apparently my help wasn’t good enough.

The more I wanted to help, the more he didn’t want my help.

Also, I am guessing that he had no clue how to deal with someone who inherently is a more emotional person than him, and that scared him. I assume he felt overwhelmed.

I can also understand how from his perspective I could have been clingy...but if seeing someone every two weeks is clingy, then damn.

I feel like in the end, the only way he could get himself to break away was to hurt me enough so that I would want to let him go. It worked.

Issues aside, I appreciate the relationship we had.

He was a good guy, flawed (like me and everyone else in this world) but a good guy.

He was a lovely guy who made me laugh a lot. He has a deep love for tea, enjoys staring at the moon sometimes during the day because it is an awesome mindfuck. He has a great fondness for Harry Potter, loves sad poetry and the Universe at large.

He even likes this adorable little Red Panda. 

He was impressive below the belt too – not going to lie.

He made me smile every day and he was considerate (even getting me my own tin of coffee when he only drinks tea.)

Those are only a few of things that he did for me. He made me very happy in the short time we were together and that is something I will always remember and cherish.

He was lovely, and one day I hope that he makes someone very happy. All I want is from him to be happy.

That is all I want for everyone in life actually.

I have said this before, and I will say this again. I would sacrifice my happily-ever-after, if it meant that everyone else in the world had no more problems forever.

Is that unrealistic? Yes. Would I bitch and moan? Sure. Would it all be worth the sacrifice? Absolutely.

The world’s problems are greater than what I am, and if I could fix it forever? How could I not?

 

My relationship with my ex-boyfriend taught me a lot. One of the lessons was that I have to be mindful of the fact that when I like someone, I like them and not what they represent.

I feel like this is a issue that many people face, not just me but that sometimes we get caught up in what people represent and not focus on who they are as people. Be sure that when you are in a relationship or are starting something with someone, that you are doing it for them and not what role that you want them to fill.

That is not right or fair to them.

As for the ex-boyfriend - am I over him? I don’t know.

I went to "our" restaurant this past week and I wasn’t sad about being there, but I did hope that by some random serendipity that he would walk in. Lame right?

But maybe that is another lesson that I will learn, I will never really be over him but I just need to find a way to move on. Sometimes not everything resolves itself nicely.

There was equal blame in the end of our relationship and I made many mistakes too, but I am learning.

All I know is that my priority is taking each day as it comes, and I am enjoying it. Sure work is kicking my ass but I don’t mind (too much) because I have learned so much. I am exhausted and feel like I need to take a week off (which I will be doing soonish) but it is really rewarding.

I think work reaffirmed to me that I’ve always been the person who I thought I am. Sure I may not always know who that is, but for damn sake, I am only 22...er... almost 23.

"I am what I am... a natural disaster." - Shark Attack by Grouplove.

I try my best to be good person, and try to make everyone’s day a little better. Sometimes I get shy and get into my own bubble too much or on the reverse side get too excitable but otherwise I am trying my best.

We are all trying our best with the lives we were given.

Sometimes we need to cut ourselves a little slack.

Theolin. Over and Out.

PS - Devils Advocate: What if I am being the overly attached weirdo who can't let go because we only dated for over a month? No one wants to be that person. He has moved on as if nothing happened I think while I am...still trying. Maybe I am just overanalysing.